“Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight.”
“Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I’m a man.”
“Today, I called my Grandmother to wish her a Happy Valentines Day. She asked me If I had a date lined up. I didn’t. Before I could explain why, she responded with ‘Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!’ Thanks Grandma, I’m not gay.”
“Today, I stood by the wall at a party while everyone else danced and ignored me. It was my birthday party.”
“Today, I looked on my sister’s phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: ‘Let’s go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won’t make a big mess this time.’ Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag.”
– From the Web site, “F*** My Life,” www.fmylife.com. You must check it out
