May 2011
1 post
April 2011
9 posts
Natalie Portman's dad can't write for sh*t →
“I took more hell for being fat than I did for being an absolute raging drug...”
– Kelly Osbourne
"Transgendered child propaganda" or a J. Crew... →
You decide.
“If some stupid fans don’t appreciate such a gift, and understand the...”
– Well said, Mohamed Al Fayed. Supporting Fulham isn’t about football, it’s about going along with whatever Al Fayed “believes in.” Too bad he doesn’t believe in decent-looking statues.
March 2011
28 posts
Please don't let this win a Grammy next year →
Parents: Kids shouldn't have to wash hands at... →
Parents at one Florida school say just because hand-washing and mouth-rinsing could save a 6-year-old girl’s life doesn’t mean their kids should have to do it.
“The way I look at it is, you can’t walk around mad, because then you just...”
– Chris Brown, who will likely have a difficult time explaining why he would trash a dressing room at “GMA” if he’s not an angry person
“As much as ya’ll wanna keep talking about stuff, bringing stuff up, ya’ll can’t...”
– Chris Brown, who for some reason thinks he’s been forgiven for “stuff” like beating then-girlfriend Rihanna
Time = a big snowglobe
From "Being Human," s1x02:
Mitchell: Things move and shift and settle again. It's like those -- what are those snowstorm things called?
Annie: Snowstorms.
Mitchell: Yeah, 'bout so big, glass?
Annie: No, they're called snowstorms.
Mitchell: Right. Well, them. You shake them and it's all mad and then it settles again. That's what time is like.
So romantic I could die
As if the "You were the love of my long life" exchange wasn't enough, "Being Human" s3x08 gave us this:
Annie: What if it was me? Say I didn't die and I got on that train, and so did Daisy, and I don't know, that was my picture in that incident room, not Lia's. What would you do?
Mitchell: I wouldn't have known you.
Annie: Play my what if game.
Mitchell: I'd tear the world apart.
Fulham to erect Michael Jackson statue →
Uh, and this relates how to football (soccer)? Cause M.J. was friends with the club’s chairman? WTF? I assume this guy won’t be chairman forever, and then Fulham will have itself a statue of some dead guy who had nothing to do with the sport. Besides, M.J. + footie has been tried before. Didn’t we learn our lesson then?
Mom sues preschool for treating daughter like a... →
A mother in New York is suing her daughter’s former preschool, saying it’s ruined the 4-year-old’s chances at Ivy League glory. While the teachers should have been preparing her little girl for a tough primary school entrance exam, they were instead talking about colors and shapes and having the child play with others! Guess Mommy’s Little Princess is gonna have to settle...
Fancy a mushroom burger that takes 30 hours to... →
Then a new, $625 cookbook should be right up your alley. Other recipes include mussels suspended in bubbles filled with their own juices and a dish featuring sea urchins that take 2-3 months to properly prepare. See the bizarre photos here.
Dying boy inducted into Army →
It may be the recruiting slogan for the Marines, but this story proves that the Army has a few good men and women, too.
Holy David Beckham! →
This just in for everyone who’s ever thought that Becks is godlike … turns out, he sees himself more as a Jesus type. Well, truth be told, he sees himself as Jesus, period.
February 2011
37 posts
“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available...”
– Charlie Sheen, still talking crazy
“What does this say about Haim Levine [‘Two and A Half Men’ creator...”
– Charlie “I Do My Best Work When I’m High” Sheen, judging and attempting to degrade Lorre for ending the show’s season early because of Sheen’s bizarre behavior
Would you buy your daughter a $14,000 prom dress? →
If your answer is yes, you’re an asshole. If your answer is maybe, you’re an asshole, too, just for considering it.
Awful @urbanrestaurantchains
Punny blog. Check it out.
Urban restaurant chains
Fat Joe’s Crab Shack
Au Bon T-Pain
R. Kelly’s In-N-Out In-N-Out In-N-Out Burger
I Like it When you Call Me Big Papa John’s
Taco Bell, Biv, Devoe
Run’s House of Pancakes
Badonkadonkin Donuts
C&C Cheesecake Factory
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth...”
– Bob Marley
Tag and release programs are totally safe = FAIL →
“It’s inauthentic — it’s not who I am.”
– Charlie Sheen, on sobriety
Wrongly imprisoned death row inmate screwed again... →
Freed after 18 years, 14 on Texas’ death row, but denied the $1.4 million in oops money he’s due. If only this man hadn’t retired.
What is Watson? →
The computer is kicking human butt on Jeopardy! and creating instant catchphrases (“What is leg?”). Don’t miss the conclusion of men vs. machine tonight.
Insensitive, offensive jerk quits job over Twitter... →
Nir Rosen = FAIL. Perhaps yet another story of someone who posts before thinking will finally help Twits understand that REMOVING A TWEET DOESN’T MEAN IT NEVER EXISTED. Morons.